A Work in Progress

I have been working all summer on my new diagnosis which is Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD for short.  The diagnosis came as a shock at first but then with more research it made a lot of sense. 

Another research project I have been working on is people in the same field I want to go into or similar fields with a mental illness. Needless to say, I found several lists with many familiar names on them. (List of names to come later, maybe)

Having a mental illness is scary, it is isolating, it is lonely. If you tell people you have a mental illness they either want to fix you or tell you that it is all in your head and if you just prayed and smiled more it would be all okay. 

Um nope, that is not how it works. A mental illness is a collaboration of different elements that are wonky in your brain and body. We are not making this up. Do you really think I want to go around and brag that I have a personality disorder? No. I do not. I even hesitated to mention on here because telling the world is a risky business even if only one or two people read this. 

I am not broken. My brain and body just need to be repaired a little. I need to relearn or learn for the first time how to deal with people, conflict and most of all how to articulate what I want and what I need. 

 I started and finished the workbook Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT).  This has helped a lot. I have a long way to go but I am learning.  

                         It is a scary world out there. Beware. 

photo taken in by R Howe Philadelphia 2009